Life is too short for bad sex. So, how do we pave the way to our best sex life
Let’s start with a “lesser-known” fact. In order to have your best sex possible, stop stressing about learning The Kamasutra by heart. Your best sex is more about continuous dialogue, constant check-ins with each other, feverish zest, and aiming for mutual pleasure.
Would you be surprised to know that some people have had their best sex predominantly orgasm free? They loved going for hours being teased without actual orgasm, rather than just having a quickie with an orgasm at the end.
The sweet crushing power of the sexual energy that flows through your body, without the actual orgasm, is more intense then you’d imagine. And, therefore an almost guarantee for your best sexual experience.
In your search for the best sex tips, you may have stumbled on articles like “best sex by zodiac sign” and others alike. Well, this isn’t one of them. It’s quite the opposite. And contrary to the expectation that best sex happens when a girl would squirt, we won’t outline anything like it here. Because one thing is for sure, not all girls can squirt. But that doesn’t mean they can’t have their best sex formula in place without ever squirting.
These days, with a “shelter in place” status quo, and after not having sex for 46 days (I’m not counting, you’re counting) …one of our fans said that while she was plugging her charger into her phone, she whispered, “you like that, mmm, don’t you?”. And since today it’s about your best sex, let’s get a bit more optimistic than that. Shall we?
What techniques can we use to have the best sex?
There are many techniques and positions that curiously enough will spike your chances for your best sex experience.
And while everyone has their own definition of what best sex is…here are some of our favourite recommendations, that you can take into your pocket of knowledge and up your chances to have your best sex over and over again.
Best sex technique 1: Sexting & Fantasies
First off, know that what turns you on in your best sex fantasies, won’t always be the same in reality. All those things that you texted your partner when you were afar and alone, may not translate with accuracy into real life.
But the anticipation built up from sexting and fantasizing about it, would increase the chances for that best sex to happen.
This means two things: get good at sexting and go as wild as you can in your fantasies. Our brain interprets the things that we describe in the tiniest of details like they happened already. Remember that “visualization” practice that you read about?
Your brain will get as much pleasure from frivolous wild fantasies as it would actually have happened.
Best sex technique 2: Intimacy and Stretching
You don’t need the level of flexibility of a yoga master to have your best sex ever. You don’t need to become a contortionist either. But plunging into stretching your body will benefit both your sex life and your health. A flexible body means a young body. And it adds more playroom to your already “standard” positions.
We should know this because, in multiple reviews of Tracy’s Dog vibrator, our customers emphasized that a stretching session is an absolute must before using the said vibrator.
Plus, it will make your sex life way more fun when you can achieve some positions that you wouldn’t dream of. And angles are fun. Do you know what else is fun? To do the stretching with your partner, which can turn into your best sex right there, on your naïve, unsuspecting yoga mat.
Here are two of our favourites that will deepen your intimacy, along with your flexibility, and bring you closer to your best sex.
Sit down, back to back with your partner, with your legs in a butterfly position. Next, spread both of your arms outwards and away to the sides, while interlocking your fingers with one another’s. And while sitting in that position allow your partner to bend forward, while you bend back. And take turns. Start gently and find your comfort level and sit in each position for a few good seconds. Thank us later
For an even sexier (and stretchier) experience: Get down and lie on your back while your partner is kneeling over you. Allow your knees to fall separately, and to the sides, aiming to touch the floor, while you put the soles of your feet together. Get your partner to tenderly press on your inner thighs for a deeper stretch. Stay in this position comfortably for a few seconds and sink into the stretch while deeply breathing. Then change places. And see some magic happen.
Best sex technique 3: Use sex toys & Lube (lots of it)
It can be extremely tempting to think that during sex all we need are our naked bodies. And while that may be true, for our best sex, we’d need to consider including them toys too *wink*.
Why? The orgasm gap studies suggest that 70% of women don’t achieve orgasm during vaginal penetration alone. So, if your definition of “best sex” means you’d need to orgasm…just think about that alarmingly high number. Hence adding a toy that will help with the clitoral stimulation, along with the vaginal penetration, will mathematically increase your chances of adding your next best sex into your books.
Best sex happens where equality thrives – especially in good orgasms.
In addition to that, don’t forget, under any circumstances to use lube. And lots of it. Our bodies naturally will start producing the fluids that we need, but depending on various factors, those bodily secreted fluids, might not last. And after you added that stretch, we mentioned earlier, you’d want to take your time in the newly found positions.
Add the toys during the foreplay or during sex, whatever suits your fancy, or what works best with your own body. But you won’t be disappointed. Vaginal, clitoral, or anal toys are really out there to spark your creativity and also(!) to get to some of your very sensitive spots that may have never been stimulated by a penis alone. And how would you experience your best sex ever without getting to every “nook and cranny”?
Best sex technique 4: Meditation
There is something that happens around the time when our life starts to get together. Along with responsibilities that overwhelm us, we have a stable job, a partner that we’re in love with, and yet, our sex drive goes down. What happens then to chase your best sex, when you’re not even in the mood for it altogether
Mayo Clinic attests to the medical reasons behind it, listing stress as the primary reason women are not able to experience sexual desire. Along with it, Gottman Institute states that “When your sexuality is giving you a hard time, you need to address the underlying problem.” And when you finally get to sit by yourself and be able to connect with your body, being in the present moment, it will calm you and bring your best sex closer than you expect.
Mindful practice (meditation or yoga) has a strong correlation with your sex drive. According to a 2018 study, women who meditated gathered higher scores in their sexual desire as well as their sexual function.
Eliminating stress, allows you to take sexual pleasure to another level. And when it comes to your best sex, it simply can’t happen if something is on your mind or stressing you out, even if it’s a minor thing. Because we tend to downplay it…until the most unfortunate moment – when it eats our sex drive alive.
So, contrary to giving you new positions to try for your best sex, squiz in a meditation session, before you even get to sex. And if you can, make it a daily practice. Be it for only a mere 5 or 10 minutes, it adds to your arsenal of techniques when chasing your best sex train.
Best sex technique 5: Moaning & Dirty Talk
Moaning is extremely sexy, and various studies show that it gets both partners in the mood and heightens their sensations. Moaning tells your partner the pleasure you’re getting, and that is often enough for some to experience their best sex.
Talking dirty is a badass skill. If some of us are comfortable in dirty talking our way through sexting, it can be quite nerve-racking IRL. But (!) the peculiar thing about dirty talk is that it’s really hard to mess it up. Virtually anything you say, can work when you talk dirty. Because essentially, you’re just re-counting what things you’d want to be done to you or, the opposite, what you’d do to your partner, what would make you feel good, and basically guide them through having your best sex together.
Relax, there is no actual playbook by which to abide during your dirty talk. But crushing an image they might’ve had of a “good girl” that has turned into quite the opposite, will intensify the sensations, making it hotter, and highly erotic - adding to the pages of your best sex book.
Conclusion - Not great sex, but the best sex!
While there is a time and place for a quickie, after all, we aim, crave, and desire not just good or great sex. We want the best sex. And almost, without fail, the best sex starts way before your bodies get naked. It starts in a long build-up and ends long after we’ve orgasmed. Slow, intense, romantic sex, when it feels that even your soul got into it - builds the scene for an intense experience that becomes your best sex.
Practice mindfulness to release your stress. But do build sexual tension. That stuff is hot.
Try edging – get really close to orgasm and stop right before it happens. Both you and your partner will get aroused more and more every time. And when you do eventually orgasm, it will feel intense, extreme, powerful – and get right under the umbrella of “best sex” talent.
Don’t leave out the aftercare either. It’s not only for BDSM play. Lying exhausted, side by side, in a post-orgasm frenzy, hugging, or spooning the other intensifies the sensations of sex itself.
- Best sex is about both, being present and losing yourself in the moment.
- Best sex is about connecting on an emotional level.
- Best sex is about relishing in every touch and “lip-smacking” every sensation.
Because when all of these factors come into play – the best sex, in the end, is magnifying your physical and emotional states simultaneously.
There is something deeply vulnerable happening when we strip our soul and body in front of each other. And without these elements, without trusting your partner, without letting them in – no genuine connection is possible.
And if there’s anything we’d like you to take from this – is that your best sex happens only when you fully bond one with another, trust each other, and aim for mutual pleasure.
Get your blood and mind pumping with endorphins, coat yourself in hot chemistry and go out there and have your best sex ever, you lollipop, you!